Sexual Assault
The term sexual violence is used to describe any and all unwelcome, violent acts that are of a sexual nature. A victim of sexual violence is anyone who has been forced to engage in any unwanted sexual activity. Sexual violence is an encompassing term that includes the acts of rape, incest, child sexual assault, date and acquaintance rape, marital or partner rape, statutory rape, exploitation, unwelcome sexual contact, sexual harassment, exposure, and voyeurism.
Sexual violence, in all its forms, is not a crime motivated by sex. Sexual perpetrators are motivated by a need for power and control. Anyone can become a victim of sexual violence and it does not happen to any one type of person. Sexual violence is a crime affecting all, regardless of race, age, socioeconomic status, or religion.
• An American is sexually assaulted every two and a half minutes.
• 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lives.
• Fewer than half, 48%, of all rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police.
• About two thirds of sexual assaults are committed by someone who is known to the victim.
• About 44% of rape victims are under age 18; about 15% are under the age of 12.
Myth: Rape is a sexual crime, impulsively committed for sexual gratification.
Fact: Rape is a crime of violence and aggression. It is attended to overpower, degrade, and humiliate the victim.
Myth: Rape does not happen very often.
Fact: Rape is the most frequently committed violent crime in the U.S.
Myth: Most rapes are committed by a stranger.
Fact: The majority of rapes are committed by men who the victims know.
Myth: Most rapes happen in a dark place at night.
Fact: Most rapes happen in the victim’s home.
Myth: Rape only happens to poor, uneducated people.
Fact: Anyone can be sexually assaulted. Rape knows no socioeconomic status. Rapists can be poor, wealthy, college educated, or high school dropouts.
Myth: Rape is the victim’s fault. The victim provokes rape by the way they dress, behave, or where they choose to go.
Fact: Rape is NEVER the victim’s fault. Rape is the only crime where the victim is consistently blamed. It is outrageous to believe that women “ask for” or “provoke” severe physical and emotional harm
Myth: Men can not be raped.
Fact: Just like women, men can be easily surprised, attacked by someone else. They may even be drugged or taken advantage of after drinking heavily.
Myth: Male on male rape is a homosexual act.
Fact: Rape is always about power and control, not sex.
Male Rape
Men can become victims of rape just as easily as women can. In addition, men are not just raped by other men. Women do rape men. Why don’t we hear about it more? Due to the stereotypical male image, men have just as many reservations, if not more, than women who report this type of crime. Our society tends to define men as the strong leaders of our communities and relationships. Given this, a man who has to admit that he was forced to perform sexual acts with a woman or a man may have an extremely tough time coming forward with this information.
Just as no woman asks to be raped, no man does either. Even if you show physical signs, such as an erection, this does not mean you want to get involved in a sexual act in any way. Certain biological factors influence this response. Many male victims tend to blame themselves after a rape, but just know that no matter what happened in the moments leading up to an attack, you did nothing to ask for this.
• One out of every seven people who report being raped is male.
• In recent years, reports of male rape have been on the rise.
• In addition, more crisis centers have started to offer services for male victims.
• Arousal is a natural biological response and does not necessarily mean a man is willing to have sex
• Male rape, as with all other rape, is not about lust or sex alone. It is about power and control.
Marital Rape
Married people can be raped by their spouses. Any husband or wife that forces, by way of physical intimidation or threats of harm-sexual intercourse (including vaginal penetration, oral, and anal sex) on their spouse is committing marital rape. No husband or wife has the right to threaten or force sex on his or her partner.
Rape is never a part of any marriage contract. Sex is a natural, healthy element of any marriage, however, this does not mean that a spouse has the “duty” of providing sex whenever or in any way a partner wants it. Furthermore, rape is a crime of power and is not necessarily about sex in and of itself.
• One out of every seven married women has been forced to have sex with her husband
• Many victims of domestic violence are also victims of marital rape. Around 60% of women physically abused by their husbands are also victims of marital sexual assault.
• Unfortunately, marital rape is still NOT illegal in 27 states.
• In some states, a spouse may not be protected legally against rape by their partner. Even if he or she has left. Legal protection does not come in some states until couples are divorced or legally separated.
• Rape in marriage is actually the most common form of rape.
• One quarter of divorced or separated women report that their husbands had used force or threatened them in order to have sex with them.
• Some studies have shown that, women who leave or threaten to leave, their husbands will often be raped by their husbands.
What to do if you are sexual assaulted?
• Get to a safe place.
• Do not shower. Showering might strip away valuable evidence that can be used in your case.
• Seek medical attention as soon as possible.
• Call law enforcement if you want to report the incident.
• Seek counseling.
Effects of Sexual Abuse
Some common emotional and physical responses include:
sleeplessness lack of appetite
lack of concentration feelings of grief and despair
nightmares phobias
stress related illness overeating
Rape Trauma Syndrome: The rape trauma syndrome consists of three stages:
• Immediate Stage: anxiety, self-blame, fear, anger, regret, embarrassment, mood swings.
• Readjustment Stage: resolving anxiety, trying to forget or minimizing the assault.
• Reorganization Stage: crying, nightmares, depression, phobias may develop.
Each of these stages moves the victim closer to recovery from the assault. Friends, spouses, and family members can aid in this process by being supportive, understanding and available to listen when the victim needs to talk.
Risk Reduction
• Keep car windows and doors locked.
• Park in a well-lit area.
• Always lock your car doors and check the inside of your car before getting in.
• Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
• Do not get in the car with strangers.
• Always keep the doors locked at your home.
• Never open your door to a knock. Ask the person for their name and id if needed.
Sexual Harassment and What To Do If You Are Harassed
Sexual Harassment is any unwelcome advance that is of a sexual nature. This advance can come in the form of verbal or written comments, touches, and leers or uncomfortable stares, just to name a few. This form of victimization can be a singular instance or a series of repeated behaviors. Some examples of sexual harassment are pressure for dates, sexual jokes, obscene phone calls, whistles, indecent exposure, using derogatory names, displays of sexual material, improper touching, comments about someone’s body, solicitation for sexual services, and even “wedgies.”
Sexual harassment should not be confused with flirting. The major difference in the two is that flirting makes the recipient feel flattered and happy while harassment makes the recipient feel uncomfortable and hurt. While the two people are involved in harmless flirting, sexual harassment is a one-sided, demeaning, illegal act.
• Confront your harasser. Ask them to stop.
• Report the harassment.
• Seek support from friends and/or family. Someone else might have a similar experience to share.
• Document every instance of harassment.
• Seek counseling.
Welcome
We are here to help abused women, their children, teens and men break the cycle of violence in their lives by offering safe, confidential shelter and services.
Contact
If you need assistance or would like to donate, please contact us by telephone or use the PayPal link below:
The Cumbee Center
(803) 649-0480